Rape Log

Raped by a family friend at 17: He was drunk and forced himself onto me. He never asked if I wanted to have sex. He was very rough. He got behind me and held me down under him and squeezed my breasts so hard the entire time that he pumped away until he came inside of me. I was sore internally and had painful bruises covering my breasts for days. After he came and we were going to sleep, he told me how disappointed he had been that I had made it so easy.

 

Raped by an acquaintance at 18: It was my first time ever really drinking. I was hanging out with a bunch of my coworker friends. He was quite a few years older than me. I was intoxicated. He came onto me. I don’t remember everything, but I do know that he at least tried to force his way into me. I don’t think he could stay hard because he’d been drinking, but he sure tried and I felt violated. It was not pleasurable at all; I was tight and dry, unwanting.

 

Raped by a man I was dating at 19: He pressured and guilted me into having sex. I remember one time specifically where he guilted me into giving him a handjob when I did not want to. He said it would be painful for him if I didn’t do it. I felt disgusting and worthless afterward. Whenever we had sex, he refused to use protection, insisting that he could just pull out. I was afraid of becoming pregnant; but he didn’t care.

 

Raped by my best friend in college at 19: He lured me away from everyone at a party. I was blackout drunk. He raped me in his girlfriend’s bedroom. I remember not feeling able to move. He forced his way into my mouth and between my legs and left my neck covered in bruises. He disappeared from the scene immediately after. He asked me to lie to his girlfriend and tell her that we had only kissed the next day.

 

Raped by my best friend/previous boyfriend at 20: He slept over at my house because it was very late and raining so hard that it was dangerous to drive home. He was touching my breasts while I was sleeping, and I woke up to him touching me and entering himself inside of me. I felt so betrayed by someone who I felt was safe to me. I cried immediately after.

 

Raped by a friend at 20: I stayed over on a night when I had too much to drink. I slept in his bed. I trusted him and didn’t expect anything to happen. But, I was woken up in the middle of the night. I was still half asleep as he began to have sex with me. There was no conscious consent.

 

Raped by a coworker at 22: I was blackout drunk; I had accidentally drank too much. I was leaving an event late at night. He waited until I was leaving. All I can remember is being shoved up against the building wall outside and him kissing me. I don’t remember how much time passed, but I remember saying that I needed to go home, saying goodbye, and walking to my car. The next thing I knew, I was pressed up against my car, and eventually I can remember him yanking my shorts all the way down. I remember him turning me around and bending me over and entering me. I tried to push myself off of my car, but he shoved me back up against it and kept going. I have no idea how long this went on. It’s hard to remember more than that. I don’t remember anything we said.

No consent.

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